Leaving with Class

Relationships come and go.  Some last forever, but some just don’t have the juice to go the distance.  When these parting moments occur, it is never easy to say goodbye to someone whom, for at least a period, you shared some really great times.

As life would have it, relationships are made up of many variables.  In addition, when you meet your love interest(s), they bring a little or a lot of relational history  with them unless you were fortunate enough to marry your highschool sweetheart straight of out school and never looked back.  Lucky you!!  But for those who have been through a decent amount of relationships that did not work out, how well did you part company with your partner(s)?  Were you retaliatory like a real raging diva or a fierce and ferocious king?  Did you point fingers and assign blame, or did you execute a gentle stroke that made the parting more bearable than it would have been?

Some people are just blessed with the spirit of goodwill.  For instance, when you hear divorced or dating couples who have gone their separate ways speak favorably of the person they left behind, it causes you to stop and stare in amazement.  The sentiment allows the world to know that even though that particular relationship didn’t work out, the person valued his or her partner with whom they shared some special times.  Instead of becoming bitter and combative about a relationship that stopped thriving, they reflected on the good times and left left their partner, at least as good as they found them.  This is not fantasy crap or romantic fufu about breaking up, but more of a reflection of maturity and personal responsibility to another human being that obviously possessed great qualities to coexist for as long as the relationship lasted.  

Divorce is one of those areas whereby couples can either be amicable – in total agreement that this is the best plan, or one or both can become extremely vindictive and wage character assassination campaigns against each other to family, friends and anybody who will listen.  Unfortunately, one or both partners are probably extremely hurt, immature and self-centered concerning the breakup.  When they attack their spouse, they do not realize that people may view them as the person with the problem given all the effort expended to tear down the other spouse.  Most of us understand that it takes two people to make a marriage and two people to break one.  No one is operating with perfection in relationships.  Furthermore, what positive qualities can be extracted from one bad-mouthing a person they’ve slept with, eaten meals, traveled, created assets and all the other things married couples do for years?

In the heat of the moment when emotions are seething, it might be hard to pause, catch your breath, and work through one of the most difficult assignments you’ll ever experience.  If you have not walked this road, don’t judge – just pray for those who are going through divorce to evolve better up the road. This is the best support family and friends can offer at this time.

Once you have had a chance to cool off, honestly consider how you want to move forward with your ex, if at all.  But, not before you are ready because the last thing you want to do is be phony.  Walking away from a relationship on a good note leaves room for reconciliation, not necessarily for reuniting as a couple, but to remain cordial with your ex.  Years from now, you may want to reach out to them again as friends.  So, avoid burning bridges in a fit of rage. 

Of course, there are certain situations where no curt goodbye is necessary or will make that much difference.  Abusive relationships need to end, period.  Emotional and physical abuse are signs of illness within your mate, and if this has existed longer than one day, you only need to save yourself.  A person who is abusive has nothing to give you, but pain.  So, with the strength that is within you,  along with the support of family, friends and strong counsel, walk away.

Overall, whether you are transitioning from a dating situation or a marriage, it’s important to maintain a level of decency toward your partner, if possible, because you obviously cared deeply for them at one time.   And, also remember that no matter what transpired over time that caused the relationship to deteriorate, neither person went into the relationship with plans to break up, right?  Sometimes, stuff just happens.  However, you obviously possess the power to walk away with class.  After all, you want to clear your heart of anything that would keep you from moving forward in love!!!

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10 thoughts on “Leaving with Class

      1. Whoops Typo. I meant I need help in viewing my last breakup with my ex in a more positive light & this article you wrote is helpful for me to get there.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Cam Soph, if the relationship was traumatizing and less than respectful, there may be nothing positive to reflect on. However, if it was amicable and not based on negative things, it’s worth leaving with class, don’t you think?

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  1. Divorces or Break ups can be extremely brutal and bitter. Walking out of a relationship with class is definitely of the utmost importance.. However with that being said , it can be extremely painful process to go through..

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  2. Getting to a place of being able to be amicable is a beautiful thing. The ability to be genuinely decent/cordial to an ex is such a peaceful thing. Break ups are just hard. 😩 Disappointment can be paralyzing. But that’s not a good/fun place to be so the only option is to move forward – as quickly as possible to healing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kisha, your points are well taken. There is not much to celebrate when it comes to breakups, at least initially. But being as amicable as possible can aid in the healing process 😄

      Like

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