Unhealthy Love Part III – Leave that Baggage at the Door!!

Baggage can be heavy or it can be condensed into a duffle bag for easier carrying. Either way, it’s something extra that you’re bringing with you on your journey.

In relationships, people bring substantial baggage. The more they’ve been wounded, mistreated, or discarded (just a few examples), the more baggage they tend to bring with them. Persons who have an extensive dating history or a marriage portfolio that exceeds one can easily become carriers of the “baggage congregation.”

Now bringing your baggage into a new relationship can be a huge turnoff. Then, there are no guarantees that he or she will want to hear all your love sagas later, either. So, you might want to evaluate who you want to share the pain with and when do you want to share it. Sometimes, it’s just better to find other ways to work through disappointments without dumping it on your newbie. It’s likely that they will use the experiences to form an opinion about you and not particularly one that you wanted them to form.

When you carry pain and hurt which is equivalent to carrying heavy baggage, you are really not ready for a fresh love interest. The new person may take on more of a burden than anticipated trying to buoy your spirits and it’s really not their job to take on this task. After all, they are hopeful that they’ve met someone who is upbeat, fun, and ready for love.

Baggage carrying indicates that more time is needed to soothe the troubled soul or your heart’s inability to open and love at this time. Really, you shouldn’t be entertaining a relationship with another person right now because they will have to make a choice that will be unfavorable for you. Now, we’re talking about putting additional baggage on top of your existing baggage. This is not good.

So, instead of rushing to be with someone new to get over someone from your past, just relax for a while. Collect your inner self so that you are only giving off the best vibes to the universe. I’m not sure who came up with the idea that it’s cool to unload your problems on just anybody who will listen. That’s why you have besties, the guys, therapists, and journals in which you can record your feelings and see yourself grow with pen and paper.

People who know you can love you through the pain. At some point, they may tell you that it’s been long enough and now it’s time to move on. But, that’s what you want. People who love you will not leave you in a bad place for an extended period and they will alert you to snap out of it should you decide to wallow in the pain for too long.

Ultimately, if you want to hold on to your new “boo” for a while, stop sharing all of your issues. After all, most relationships require time to develop to that point. Whatever you do, don’t put the baggage on the table and then ask why you haven’t seen Jane or Jim for a few weeks or ever again. I’m telling you now, they are gone and looking for someone who doesn’t bring their bags with them everywhere they go especially when they have just met you.

Think about it and see if this doesn’t address some of the maladies you have experienced as you seek healthier love relationships!!

Best,

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