One conversation that transcends the decades is the one about wanting a good woman or a good man. When hearing about some of the stories that these individuals are talking about, you mainly hear about disaster and drama from some unavailable, uncaring individual who has deposited him or herself into the life of a naive, unsuspecting person. Let’s break it down.
Have you ever heard a friend say “I would love to meet a good man who doesn’t cheat or lie all the time. Someone who just cares about me.” Have you heard that one? Or, perchance you have a male friend that says something similar like “Where are all the good women?”
I’ve come to find that this is more rhetorical than truth. When some women are confronted by “good” men who would protect, care, and love them, they manage to find some major flaws with them. You might hear something like “He’s nice and all, but so boring and predictable. He just doesn’t do it for me.” Do what? This seems to suggest that unless the guy has a lot of game, half-truths and drama, the woman may find him less desirable. Why is this? Maybe, he doesn’t have a six-pack or a chiseled face with dimples that drives you insane, but he’s still a keeper.
Could it be that these “good” guys are not the kind that bring that rough drama that so many associate with love. The adrenaline that comes from having a fight or disagreement about something trivial seems to drive today’s relationships; not across the board, but more so than it should. Drama is the drug promoted by reality television and the media. It appears that some relationships thrive on agitation or unfavorable activities to reach that “love crescendo.” What a farce. At best, we’re talking toxicity and predatory activity, contributors to extremely bad habits for relationships.
Good and overlooked men, how about you? I know some of your stories and have listened to them to the point of tears. What I see are strong, empathetic men – teddy bears with loving hearts who get slammed-dunked and played by women with street savvy who only want gifts, money and a warm body for the down times. It’s one thing to care about someone, but the care must be reciprocated. It’s difficult to witness the abuse from women toward men as much as it is for men do this to women. Somethings got to give.
The most obvious baseline problem in these scenarios is poor relationship choices. But on a deeper level, this strong attraction to persons who operate from a strictly selfish point of view must be addressed in your life if things are to change. If you really desire a good man or a good woman, you can have one. First, you must stop playing games with yourself and dispel all the romantic drama that you see played out on the big screen with dark, unsavory men and women with tight dresses and spike heels. That is not love, but it certainly is drama.
Not many of us have escaped the lying, dishonest person who strings us along until we confront the problem. We cannot blame the players for their actions. They’re only taking advantage of those who are not awake. Once victims of the game decide to wake up, it’s a whole new day. People who want to rise up, can and will do just that once they realize that they don’t need a bad boy or a hot mama to complete them.
Best to you!!