Technology and Dating

Wow. It feels so good to get those bills done online. Now, I can relax. Perhaps I’ll shoot Joan a text to find out if she landed her new gig this week. I don’t want to call her or she’ll hold me hostage on the phone. Later, I might just Facetime mom to see if she is doing okay even though I could just drive over since she lives 20 minutes away. But, she might want me to stay for dinner and start asking way too many questions about my personal life. Naw!! Facetime works.

Isn’t technology awesome? We can do so many things and never leave the comfort of our homes or have to physically encounter another human being. We love our cell phones, tablets, PCs and all other technological gadgetry that we own. We essentially have the world at the edge of our beds and it feels so good. So, if one wants to play games or watch their favorite Netflix series, there is really no need to leave the house.

Unfortunately, what we do continuously can become a part of our total existence. In short, we create some addictive habits. We exist in a shell called technology and don’t even realize it. Taking someone’s phone would be much like cutting off one of their arms or legs. It’s just that serious.

This behavior also trinkles over into the dating world. When it comes to dating or meeting new people, cell phone usage has become a point of contention when “rude” people give priority to their phones in the presence of their dates. You uncomfortably sit at the table wondering why you are here? Or better still, these phone addicts may attempt to have many of their dates with you by phone to eliminate dinners, outings and other expenses that come from such new acquaintances. This isn’t sounding good, is it? The truth of the matter is our social skills have plummeted to an all time low thanks to technology. As stated, some of these devices are the best and the worst inventions of our time.

Now, I, personally, would never travel without my cell phone since it provides a layer of safety. However, I work equally hard to keep a balance when using technology. I put space between me and my phone when it comes to social events or meals with friends. Chances are my friends and I haven’t seen each other that much; so, when we get a chance to physically meet somewhere, that time is really special to us.

The same goes for meeting a new man or woman. No need to go overboard with the technology. No Instagram, Facetime, texting, or any of these methods required for communication. Don’t even encourage it. A phone call should establish what is needed to solidify a date. Beyond that, there is a need to look into the person’s eyes, study his or her face and observe body language in efforts to ascertain critical information. The information gathered not only comes from conversation, but also from mannerisms.

It’s a total turn off when a woman or man meets an individual that they like and are reduced to phone conversations in lieu of in-person meetings, more often than not. If distance is what that person wants, why don’t you go ahead and provide that for them so that you can get about the business of being in your rightful place for love. Some people are so addicted to their phones that they may see you as one more person with whom they can pass some time. But whoever they are, they cannot hide behind their phones and expect to develop a meaningful relationship – not with you. Eye contact, physical observation, speaking and listening skills are best assessed in person. Even those pictures on dating sites don’t mean a thing until you can put a human eye on the individual.

So, people, what’s the answer to all this technological activity operating under the name of “meaningful relationship development? How does the dating scene get back to those warm and cozy evenings where men actually went out of their way to spruce up, make the phone call to that beautiful lady, and pick up flowers for their evening together? Maybe the flowers are a stretch, but a least some type of pursuit was underway that made the lady clearly understand that she was being pursued. Nowadays, a woman probably has to ask exactly what she and the new guy are doing as in “are we a couple?” Oh boy!!!

It appears that technology etiquette must be defined between the two people or somewhere so that misunderstandings can be alleviated. If a man invites a lady out for the evening, he should make sure that she isn’t put off by excessive phone usage. There are a few things that get a pass. Family emergencies – check. On-call for your job – check. Alarm system going off at your house – check. Anything else, forget about it. It’s just impolite to have someone in your presence at your request to watch you have such an “in-your-face” involvement with a phone. When this type of behavior is evident, you may just want to excuse yourself and keep it moving. The same goes for women. Be nice!

Really, I don’t know what to tell you. The kids are using their phones nonstop. Parents are equally engaged on their phones, and everybody else is on the phone somewhere in the world. What are we going to do? This feels like an epidemic here. Can there be a revival of social skills and human interaction at this juncture? Only God knows.

In the meantime, women and men, fight the good fight of faith and believe that you will encounter a love interest with a balance of technology and the human touch.

Best!!

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2 thoughts on “Technology and Dating

  1. Great post about the pros and cons of technology. I read something online (of course) a while back about how Chick-Fil-A was starting an initiative on reducing cell phone usage over a meal. They were give a percentage off the meal if people gave up their cells phones while dining in and actually engaged in conversations with their families, friends, co-workers, whomever. Initially I thought to myself, “now isn’t that progressive?” Then later I laughed out loud because I was like when did getting back to how things used to be “in the good ole’ days” become progressive? I totally agree with everything you said about communication etiquette. I believe that some people use technology-their computers, laptops,tablets, cell phones as a defense mechanism to hide from having to actually make eye contact and say a simple salutation, heaven forbid right?! Thank you for sharing your perspective, always a GREAT read!

    Liked by 1 person

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