There is this thing called self-esteem. It basically asserts that you will, more often than not, do those things that best represent and demonstrate who you are at your core. It essentially tells the world that you don’t have time to be neglected or overlooked by others or yourself in any area of your life. You have a serious love affair with you.
So, how is it that you can meet or be involved for many years with a person who is attractive or not, successful, and available, but shows no interest in taking your relationship to the next level? If this person has eight out of ten of your must haves, you might get it twisted that you have found the one. In your mind you may say “it’s just a matter of time.” Well, how much time is too much time to be waiting for the words you need to hear?
At best, this is truly an individual matter. What’s good for one couple may not be so good for another one. One or both parties may use excuses like solidifying careers first, or getting some of their debt cleared up before getting too serious. However, these are merely deterrents for moving forward. Why can’t you reach your career goals or pay your debts while in a committed relationship? You wouldn’t be the first couple to do that.
So, the real questions come down to who is truly avoiding the commitment in this relationship and how long will the person who wants a commitment wait? If the person you love is not quite aligned with your vision for your future, summon all your self esteem and walk after a reasonable time. He or she is not a bad person, just not right for you. You have to show the person better than you can tell them that you are not the one for this relationship.
I say this more for women than men because we are notorious for hanging on. You see, men are hunters and they are seeking challenging prey worthy of their time. This means a woman who is not on the “yes” wagon has a much better chance of holding the attention of the man than “yes” women. You’ve got to have some standards and more than anything, be consistent with those standards because men also have no problem accepting your “trinkets” of affection without committing.
So, how long are you willing to wait, ladies. Paraphrasing the words of that infamous idiom, is it really necessary to buy the cow when you can have all the benefits that cow provides without paying a nickel? We’ve got to embrace this question no matter how much it hurts.
In our so called modern day thinking, everything really gravitates back to what is old, established and traditional. There are not too many ways that a man can convey his love for a woman than to make her his wife. It shows tremendous honor and bestows the very best upon her. There are the non-traditionalists who say that they do not need marriage to be confirmed as number one in their man’s or woman’s life. Marriage is just a piece of paper. Maybe. Maybe not.
The downside of this type of arrangement is that the man and woman are still outside of a real commitment and covenant as ordained by God. Is this more about fear, convenience or both? In truth, a real man wants the world to know symbolically with rings, witnesses, and his beautiful bride that he is married and committed to someone he loves always and forever. Yeah, it might sound corny, but there are people who are proving that this works very well, thank you.
Now, at the end of the day, isn’t that what you really want?