Don’t Force It

There may be periods of “no dating” that exist in one’s life from time to time. You’re not dating because you don’t want to date, but rather because there is not much interest being expressed by the opposite sex or from you at this time. So, you learn to handle these periods and wait patiently for a new love interest.

Eventually, you get a “bite” and begin a new exploration of love and romance. Your new person is nice, fairly attractive and employed. This is a good start. You have a few lunch/dinners and truly enjoy the flow of conversation. As weeks go by, you realize that this might be a relationship worth looking into on a deeper level. And, no sooner than you begin to think this, your new romance provides information about an ex-spouse and a couple of children that are part of their history.

You try not to be alarmed, as you had already begun to daydream about the children you all would have together and about being the first wife or husband a year or two from now. You retrace your initial meeting with this person and how you were so excited to meet someone after a brief hiatus from the dating scene. Then, it strikes you. “I don’t have to move forward with this relationship. There are issues present that do not match where I am trying to go. I really don’t want to inherit a family that is not mine. Therefore, it’s only fair that we make the break now.”

True to your inner voice, you do the farewell speech and go your separate ways. The love interest understands your position and respects it. They know that it’s better not to force a relationship that does not line up with both persons’ values and standards. This would only end with arguments and unhappiness for one or both parties.

It’s a mature and responsible move to avoid forcing a relationship that starts on shaky legs. If relationships that are built on solid foundations have obstacles and challenges to overcome, how many more problems will come to those who build relationships on rocky foundations? It’s wisdom that we all need to use.

Summarily, honor your truths and value systems. Avoid forcing a love affair that would be better off in file 13. Forcing a poor relationship to work is the same as purchasing a box of stress. Who needs it?



4 thoughts on “Don’t Force It

  1. Nice! True that! It can be easier said than done though, admittedly. Nonetheless, this is great advice & wisdom. Sometimes it just takes me longer to realize it’s not going to work & to give up hope.


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