I’ve often heard that the way you start a thing is the way it ends. That is a proverb that I have lived by especially as I have came to personally understand the power of those words. Also, when I consider this in the framework of romantic love and marriage, the words apply even more. Let me explain.
If your history as a man or woman has been to allow the new relationship to speed dial into sexual intimacy, it’s difficult to step back with the other person once you’ve stepped over into those sacred areas of relationship. You may barely know this person, but the abs, breast or shoulders just pulled you in. And let’s say that the person has a really bad character that you never had time to ascertain because you’ve only been on one, maybe two dates.
So, maybe you liked the sex, but you immediately determined that the personality sucks. You’re also keenly aware that you have been waiting for some time to meet a person that you liked well enough to even go on a date. Then, that turns out to be a dud. If wisdom ruled the day, you would shut this relationship down and start over again with a stronger constitution going forward. However, that rarely happens. For fear of being alone or starting over again, you would rather tell the person that you didn’t like their behavior or manners (but not mention how awesome the sex was). Sex can be a driving force for staying with an individual with whom you have very little in common with otherwise, including those character flaws.
Here’s a newsflash for those who are still equating sex with a relationship. It is not. Once you have indulged sufficiently, what will you do to fill in the other spaces of the relationship. Many relationships start like this and usually burn out because they are not built on friendship, genuine care or understanding about the other person and other critical factors for building a solid relationship.
This is why good choices matter. There are no guarantees that you will hit a home run, but if you stick relatively close to the standards you’ve set for your personal life, you will win. Remoulding and manipulating people into what you want them to be will prove to be stressful and it is totally unfair to the other person. They were who they were when you met them and will be that person when you part company.
Since we do have free choice with regards to relationships, why not take full advantage of that platform and interview as many persons as necessary to ultimately meet someone who falls close to your ideal which brings me to my final point. Don’t be lazy while you are out there making your choices because that will only hinder you from getting the love you want.